Remember that for babies and toddlers, less is more.

They can handle only so much that's new and exciting without a meltdown. So if they won't sit on Santa's lap, or they won't give that angelic smile to Uncle Bob, just accept it.

Sometimes, you might have to leave events earlier than planned. And let common sense prevail over your vision of what the holidays should be.

The holidays can be as overwhelming for smaller children as they are for you. Know when it's time to throw in the towel. Instead of forcing your children into something you think they will enjoy, let them choose what activities are right for them. Even very young babies can communicate their preferences!

Prepare just two or three carefully chosen gifts for little ones. Don't break the bank buying out the "baby" section of the toy store. Very small children don't need or want a lot of stuff. Try a baby board book that you can read together. These are great because your child can turn the baby-proof pages or open the flaps as you go. Add a cuddly stuffed animal, and you've given two gifts whose aura of warmth and togetherness emphasize the loving, giving spirit of the holidays. Third, give an active toy, like building blocks, large puzzle pieces, big interconnecting beads, or different shapes, to encourage your toddler's ability to build and create.

Plan ahead for some quiet family time. Whatever holiday you celebrate--Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or something altogether different--be sure to build in some time for relaxation and family togetherness. Spend a leisurely afternoon decorating festive cookies the kids or making decorations. And try to spend some quiet time resting, reading or listening to music before you attend the religious or cultural service of your choice. This will put you into the spirit of togetherness, ready to enjoy the feelings of peaceful awe and quiet contemplation that infuse the meaning of the season.

Published 11/28/08